Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
I. Registration Act
We had to stand
with the ones labeled 'colored',
homeless in our own country.
Don't look at the others.

II. Benches
The ones labeled 'colored';
they were for us.
Don't look at the others.
Not for you.  No longer.

III. Reconciliation
They were for us.
We had to stand,
not for you; no longer
homeless in our own country.
:iconprojectdfc: Day 16: Pantoum.

A French form of quatrains and refrains.

December 16th is the Day of Reconciliation to signify the end of apartheid.

I ended up not finishing DFC, but I wanted to share the poems I was able to complete.
The brevity of the work adds to the force of the speech. It will not help me much by way of criticism. I will need more substance to give a full critique. I assume from the stance that there is a black-white conflict as before, since 'colored' usually refers to African Americans. The stanza in italics, as an emphasis, is particularly keen. The 'homeless' here has referred to them for many years. I would like to see this with longer content and a heightened suspense for the conflict. Otherwise, it was well-written and I find no other weaknesses. You are of course free to follow my suggestion or ignore it.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

aldwarke Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
The term 'coloureds' was also used in South Africa during apartheid. 'Cape coloured' for example.
MadPrinceFeanor Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
That's pretty much what I was going for was how the term was used during apartheid in a multifaceted sense to mean a place, an object, or a group, but how it was always intended pejoratively towards those of darker skin. Thank you for reading my work! :heart:
Add a Comment:

:iconmadprincefeanor: More from MadPrinceFeanor

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
January 2, 2013
File Size
546 bytes


5 (who?)